Believing the best

Many years ago, I was part of a wonderful, small, and very loving church.  The pastor's wife was not typical in her appearance or personality.  She was artsy, dressed very fashionably, and was forthright in how she spoke to others.  And she had a great sense of humor!  

She wasn't quiet and meek.  Nor was she boisterous or unbecoming.

When she spoke, I listened.  She was a friend and I trusted her.

Now since it was such a small group of us, she had time to meet up with me whenever I'd ask.  It wasn't often, but when I did, she was there for me.

I spent three and a half heavenly years with that fellowship before the Lord moved me to another city.

When I told my friend, the pastor's wife, that I felt led to move on, I could tell she was saddened to see me go.  It was clear that she preferred that I stay with them - the fellowship - but she wanted what was best for me.  And she knew that following the Lord was best for me. 

Then she spoke such loving words that I will never forget.  Decades later, they have stuck with me.

She said, "We have always believed the best about you."

Now it's just one short sentence.  But it is packed with such substance and love and care.  I have never heard anyone else say those words to me before or since.  Perhaps others may think likewise - they do believe the best about me - but my friend, the pastor's wife, had the wisdom to speak the words out loud.

Why did those words have such an impact on me?  I have met countless people since then, many of them church people.  But instead of meeting with that sort of unconditional love, sadly, I have met with judgment and criticism.

You can feel when others are not believing the best about you.  Whatever flaws you may have - and we all have them - some people seem to highlight those instead of focusing on all the good qualities you have to offer.

Now I've come to realize that the kind of people who choose to judge instead of love have deep-rooted issues of their own.  I need not take their judgments personally or to heart.  But it hurts nonetheless.

Perhaps they don't want to see the good in me because it makes them feel less-than.  Or maybe they themselves have mostly met with judgment and criticism in their lives, so they simply pass on what the know.

But we all have choices in life.

We choose how to see and treat others - no matter how we've been treated.  Especially those of us who are in Christ.

Christ sees the best in us.  He dwells on the good.  Make no mistake, He sees it all!  He is acutely aware of our shortcomings, faults, and sins.  

But He is a good God!  He is a loving God!  He wants the very best for us.  And pointing out our faults is not the way to bring out the best in us.

When we believe the best about others, we are giving them one of the most precious gifts ever.  I know.  My friend, the pastor's wife, gave me such a gift and it has made all the difference.