Joy and Strength (Christian life and music)

  You can find anything online!  Here's a manure chart!  What kind to use, on what garden, and in what season(s). God is the Master Gardener.  He knows exactly what it takes for each of His "flowers" need to grow into His likeness. Would Paul have written his letters to the churches if he weren't in a feces-ridden prison cell?  Not sure.  But we have the majority of the New Testament thanks to Paul allowing God to use him in the crappiest (literally) of circumstances. What about us?  We are most likely not in a literal prison cell.  But what parameters is Jesus using in your life to grow you?  Do you want to mature and grow? Paul wasn't being chastised or punished by God!  Paul was not "in sin."  Quite the contraty!  He was imprisoned for  working for God!  For preaching the gospel.   So when our "stinking" situations are not changing, will we let God use it to grow us up?  Will we let ourselves be used by Him instead of complaining, getting de

Did your flesh prick just then?  "Hey!  They are MY desires!  I can want whatever I want!" Are you in the habit of yielding to Jesus on everything?  If not, then yes, the title of this blog will prick your flesh. Am I serious?  You betcha! When you think about it, it's our desires that either lead us into good or bad choices.  Problem is, the bad ones can feel  good in the moment. So what's a girl to do? Run it by Jesus!  Jesus, is this desire of and from You?  Or is it only me? Or worse, the enemy? Desires, wishes, and feelings will come against us from our own deceitful hearts!  Yes, even those of us whose hearts are indwelt by the Holy Spirit can be led astray by our desires. Now to be sure, God can also lead us through our desires.  Most Christians have Psalm 37:4 memorized.   But we're complicated creatures.  We've been programmed by so many sources throughout our lives, not all of which were in our best interest. How to we truly discern between good and

I recently came across a book written by Donald Miller.  It is a business and marketing book.  Since Miller is a common last name, I figured it couldn't be the same Donald Miller who wrote, "Blue Like Jazz," which was a best-selling spiritual memoir he wrote years ago.  I read it and remember liking it and thinking of him as more the artsy type.  A true seeker of Christ. So when I discovered that the marketing book was written by the same Donald Miller, I coudn't wrap my brain around it. I simply could not see him in that light.   He was a spiritual writer, and now he's writing business/marketing plans?!  The two just don't coincide in my thinking. Even if he has chosen to "reinvent" himself, which is very popular these days, that is quite a switch. So it should come as no surprise that those who know me in my "day job" as an administrative professional cannot see me as the artist that I also am. Hats. Some of us wear very disparate ones ou

Jesus is a writer. He is the Author of our faith.  He is writing it, we're just living it out. Faith is built in the dirt, muck, and mire of life. So what is God writing anyway? Do you want your "happy ever after" more than you want a perfected faith?  And do the two have to be mutually exclusive? Do you get more excited about acquiring earthly transient stuff than you do about spiritual growth and strengthening your faith? I believe God is writing a very different story than we would have written for ourselves. God's story for our faith is much grittier.  How do I know? Because holy heart work is painstaking.  God has something much more precious for our lives. He is grinding at the mill.  And the grist is our faith. That's His greatest desire for us - that we let Him finish our faith story.  Do we believe Him?  Do we trust Him?  Do we want Him more than our earthly pursuits?  When you think about how a self-sufficient God - the Creator of everything and everyone

I asked the Lord why I don't always stay in His Presence, feel it.  He spoke clearly.  "You don't practice it." Right. He went on to tell me that it is not a given.  We don't naturally feel or seek God's Presence - even as Christians.  Because we're still in this flesh! It is a supernatural quest.  It is something we practice. And like anything that I practice, it should become more naturally supernatural(!) with time. I am a classically trained pianist with my Master's Degree in accompanying.  Before completing my degree, I'm guessing I logged in tens of thousands of hours of practice, if you count all the years I'd been at it, since age six.   Yes, I am a natural. It is a gift from God and therefore comes easy to me.  However, I still had to practice  the piano if I wanted to become the best pianist I could be. But I never practiced more than four hours at a time.  Maybe that sounds like a lot to you, maybe not.   I was disciplined about it. 

Perhaps you've heard it before.  "Rise above" your circumstances.  But what exactly does that mean and how do we do it? I believe it is both a mental and a spiritual feat.  We need to  think  differently about our situation or problem that seems insurmountable.  Are we focusing on the problem too much?  We will never rise above, if that is the case. But how do you  not  look at what is "in your face," so to speak? Some spiritual battles are fiercer than others.  Sometimes, the enemy comes in like a flood. When we feel like we're drowning in a sudden influx of "water," and we cry out to the Lord for help but we are still drowning, then what?   I use the drowning analogy perhaps because I just watched "The Perfect Storm" the other night.  I'd seen it years ago but watched it again.  A spiritual attack can be like the "perfect storm."  All forces come together and hit us at once, and we feel out of control.  We cry out to God,

As I prayed on my knees the other day out of sense of longing to feel more of God's love, He spoke to my heart, "Make peace with your past." I wasn't sure what that had to do with me feeling His love for me, but I trust that He always knows what I need and what I need to do. How could making peace with my past help me feel God's personal love for me? Then it dawned on me.  I still had resentment in my heart about certain things that He allowed to happen to me.  Traumatic stuff.  Painful stuff.  Stuff that I have let form me instead of letting His love form me. But the worst of it is when I let the enemy darken my memories that were good ones!  Memories of how I obeyed God.  Like all of the times that I chose to obey Him when it didn't make sense.  But then, the enemy twists it and I remember some of the aftermath. It's not a new thing.  Throughout the Bible we see God's people obeying God, stepping out in faith, and then reaping all kinds of bad stuff

I don't relate at all to those "picture perfect" posts I see on social media. My life is messy.  Oh, my home is clean!  But life itself is messy. There are spiritual battles daily. There seems to be little respite some days. There are surprise attacks from the enemy.  I get blind-sided.  Then I beat myself up for not responding in the Spirit. I take on way more than I should and I struggle with keeping a good attitude. It's easy for me to have pity parties, and just give in to discouragement.   Why can't I just do something about my messes, you may ask? God. That's the short answer. Oh believe me, I have tried.  I pray, fast, cry out to God, stand on His promises.  But since my life is not my own - hasn't been for over 30 years now - but belongs to Christ, I don't call the shots.  He does. This means that my life, with all of its messiness, is panning out exactly as Christ has ordained.  And no matter how hard it may be for me, He is Lord over all of i

The Lord spoke a precious word to me this morning. I share it with you here. I pray it blesses you! DON'T GIVE UP!!! I know how hard it has been for you and in you and on you. LAY IT ALL DOWN, MY CHILD! Let Me care for you. Let me handle EVERYTHING that concerns you. For you take on too much in your own strength. Yoke with Me. And even when you don't see your prayers answered when and how you like, always trust that I know EXACTLY what you need when! Rest more. Struggle less. Be at peace no matter what. For I AM your peace, not your circumstances. All things are possible with Me! The battle is heating up not just for your, but for My people everywhere. I AM preparing you for the days ahead. Think of it as boot camp! Take My strength as your own. Spend more time on your knees in prayer. Just do it! And remember that I have overcome the world!

I had the privilege of singing with the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir at their Music Conference.  It was glorious!  As we sang God’s praises, His glory, power, love, and peace filled the air.  His presence there was truly awesome!  I wanted to move there! But further down the road, the Lord showed me it wasn’t the choir I wanted, but Him. His Presence. The Lord led us back to hear the choir a few years later.  I thought for sure that this time, He was leading us to actually move to Brooklyn. He knew my heart and how I longed to worship Him with other like-minded worshipers. At the time, He had led us to a contemporary non-denominational church instead.  There, the worship was a mere show.  Plenty of noise, but God was nowhere to be found. I cried out “Why, Lord, why?  Why do you have us here?” But then He showed me something crucial. When we came back from our second visit to Brooklyn Tab and went to our Sunday morning “worship” service, He spoke to me right then and there, “You don’t need

Is this hard to swallow, considering the shape our world is in? What people don't realize is that the further they get from God, the worse the world's condition will be. People are waiting too long to come to Jesus.  If you wait too long, your despair may take you down paths you don't want to go. As things "heat up" in our world, it will boil down to this: you either will cling more closely to Christ or you will move farther away from Him. You will get angry because He is causing natural events all over the place and your mind won't be able to figure it out. You're not up with the times we live in.  If you're going by the news reports, what you read online, what you see and feel in your own life - the increasing fear and hatred or indifference you may see even just going to the grocery store (where is the joy?) - none of what is about to go down will make sense to you. The human mind wasn't meant to comprehend history or current events in its own r

Most people, including Christians, do not forgive each other. I have witnessed this over and over again in the past 30+ years of walking with Jesus. Ever since I came to the Lord, I naively assumed that if I wronged someone, knowingly or unknowingly, that I would be forgiven.  After all, that's what the Bible tells us to do, right?  So why, then, have I experienced so little of it among so-called Christians?  Don't they believe the Lord's Prayer - "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us"?  Maybe they don't care if they are forgiven by God. I have had to, like you, forgive many people over the years.  I find that it's a choice, not a feeling.  I rarely, if ever, feel  like forgiving someone.   But I do it in obedience to God.  I do it because I want to stay right with God and I so desperately want and need His forgiveness. When I turn to Jesus for forgiveness over anything, Jesus forgives me at once.  He doesn't wait to th

We all do it.  We put God in a box.  We know in our minds that He can do anything, even the impossible. But in real life, we're more inclined to look at ourselves, our resources, our limitations, problems, etc, etc. Taking our eyes off ourselves is step one.  That's enough work for most of us! But beyond that, we admit that He is telling us to do something we cannot do in our own power or resources or strength. God asks us to do the impossible so that we will know that HE is the one behind it, making it happen.  We do not get any credit. God gets all the glory. Moses couldn't part a sea.  No way, no how, never in a million years. But God could!  And He did!  Moses was trapped.  There was no way out, no way to escape the Egyptian army coming after him and his people. But God knew the way out!  He had it all worked out for Moses.  All Moses had to do was obey God! Now we may never see a sea part.   But we all have, or have had, or will have, impossible situations where we are

So at the end of every year, I spend some extended time with the Lord.  I want to get the lowdown for the upcoming year. At the end of 2019, I had a very ominous feeling.  Not in my 30+ years of spending time with Jesus had I ever felt that before.   He didn't tell me about the pandemic.  I just had an ominous sense that 2020 was going to deliver some dark times. I never for one second felt any fear.  I felt the ominous feeling but still felt God's peace in me, so I knew that no matter what, I would be safe and He would be with me, as always, and protect me. Three months later, Covid entered the U.S. At the end of 2020, during my extended quiet time with Jesus, I didn't have that ominous feeling.   But He did put a word on my heart. Cataclysmic. I knew that was bad.  I didn't know the exact meaning of it, so I looked it up.   Oh dear. Ok.  So no word on the pandemic ending, or whatever. Just one word.  Cataclysmic. Again, I had absolutely no fear. That is the beauty of

Memorizing Scripture does not come easy to me.  It is a struggle. However, when set to music, I can recall Scripture for decades.  That is how I am wired. I started writing Scripture songs with the hopes of making an album for kids, to help them memorize and remember Scripture.  Life happened and the album was never made.   My songs are on YouTube and that looks like the "album" I made, at least for now. But then I started writing Scripture songs for myself, because I wanted to get God's Word in my heart more - be able to recall His Word more readily. I still "hear" certain verses as a song whenever I hear them spoken or read them.  Songs stick with me, thank God! This morning, something really exciting happened.  I was reading from "Praying God's Promises" and came upon 2 Corinthians 9:8.  And as I read it, a song that I wrote immediately came to mind.  This was exciting because if it happened to me, it could happen to those who listen to my songs

Some of you may remember this Jim Carrey movie from a few years back.  It's one of Hollywood's better attempts at a God movie. In it, Jim Carrey's character, Bruce, is empowered by God with all of God's power to see how he would handle things, what it's like to be God.  Bruce was unhappy with his life and thought he could do a better job of it than God was doing for him.  Sound like anyone you know?  (clear throat) Anyway, Bruce is allowed to do whatever he wills with his power except  he cannot mess with free will. Oy. That is exactly what Bruce thinks will "save the day" - if only people would do what he wants them to do, what, in his mind, they are "supposed" to be doing - his life would be so much better! He became frustrated because he was not able to change his fiance's mind about taking him back.  He'd turn into a real schmuck (as we all do when we play god) and so she left him. It all works out in the end (thank you, Hollywood) an

So I interviewed for a music director position at a church a few years ago.  There were about seven people on the "committee" to decide my fate.   I sat at the piano and sang one of my worship songs as part of the "audition."  When the song ended. they applauded.  I was shocked.  I wasn't expecting their response.  I didn't want that response.  In my mind, they missed the point.   I wanted to lead them in worship of Jesus.  I did not want their applause.  I wanted their eyes on God, not on me or my talent. And that, folks, about sums up my lifelong desire to serve God in His church and how it never turns out the way I think it should. I've been told that God's anointing is strong on me when I sing.  I've been told this many times over for decades.  That simply means that His Presence fills the room when I sing to Him.  He comes in response to my heart of worship.  He picks and chooses whom He anoints.  I never asked for it. Now you'd think th

My faith isn't perfect.  The perfectionist in me hates that.  After all, I have already been through so many trials, tests, and tribulations - all either caused or allowed by my Lord - that I was hoping my faith would be perfected by now.  To never doubt.  To never waver. But I'm just not there yet.  I feel like I was  there before.  Before the hits just kept on coming, with no end in sight. See, I thought I would be in a season of plenty by now. Now don't get me wrong.  I want for nothing, really.  I am very grateful for all the Lord has given me. By season of plenty, I mean more a season of fruition .  Where the heck is all the fruit from all of the former seasons of "threshing," "raking," "plowing" - you get the gardening metaphors already?   I don't see the fruit with my eyes yet.  And I don't always sense the spiritual fruit in myself, either.  Especially when I doubt. What's a girl to do? Is it possible to regress in our faith

Waiting.  No one likes it.  I don't care how patient you are, waiting is a pain.   As Christians, we are to wait on God.  We also wait for God.  We wait for Him to answer prayer and not take matters into our own hands (hopefully!).  We wait for Him to reveal truth to us about a situation, to give us His wisdom because we simply don't know the truth as He does. I have been waiting on God for about ten years now to answer a very vital prayer in my life.  He has yet to budge.  Oh maybe a tad, but not completely in the way I expect Him to. "You get what you expect."  No, you don't.  You can "claim" Scripture, believe in "manifesting" answers for yourself, but the truth is, when God is not doing something that only He can do, it ain't happening. Now most would say I have a very strong faith.  And I do.  But when my unanswered prayers cause me pain, disappointment, and heartache, it's like a hammer and chisel taking a chink out of my faith. T