Sweepers, sayers, and silent ones

It seems like there are a few different ways that people deal with conflict.  Sweeping, saying, or staying silent.

Some are great at sweeping things under the proverbial rug.  Problem with that is the problems are still there!  Oh they may seem hidden, but if you lift up the rug, there they are in all their hidden ugliness.

Some are great at talking (this has been my "gift" in the past!).  The problem with this can be that we say too much.  People may not be ready to hear what we have to say.  And trying to clear things up by bringing them out in the open can backfire if not done in the Spirit.  

Then we have those who don't say anything at all.  They don't sweep and they don't speak.  They keep it all inside to themselves.  These may be the winners on the outside because they appear to be fine.  However, their physical bodies may belie this seeming fact.  They may have ulcers or a damaged nervous system or a cabinet full of liquor!

So what's a person to do?  Is there one "best" way to handle conflict, turmoil, and strife?

Let's go to the Source for the answer - the One who handled every single conflict with grace, truth, wisdom, and righteousness - Jesus.  And He handled each one uniquely.

First off, Jesus was always connected to the Father.  He made no move without consulting God.  That's a nugget right there!  Half, if not all, of the world's ills - both public and private - would be solved if we just seek the Lord and what He would have us do in any given situation.  But first, we need a close relationship with Him.  Then we need to listen to Him, know His voice.  And lastly, we must obey what He tells us to do!

I have known all three types of people - the sweepers, the say-ers, and the silent ones.  The problem with the first and last examples is that the "stuff" doesn't go away or get resolved on its own, usually.  So it remains as constant background "static" in their consciousness.  And even if you are an expert in denial, the stuff is still there whether you acknowledge it or not!

Everything that we bring into the light can no longer control us or have power over us.  Exposing stuff is healing.  Not with a pointed finger, but with love and grace and understanding - that is the best way to bring things into the light. 

The problem when we bring things into the light is that there are sweepers around us!  They don't want to see the light, know the truth about things, because it makes them uncomfortable.  But we need to bring things into the light just the same!

As we confess - bring it into the light - the Lord can remove it, heal it, rectify it, or do whatever else needs to be done in the conflict.  The Lord wants peace and unity in our relationships.  However, it's still a fallen world and not every relationship will follow suit.  Jesus had His naysayers, to say the least, and so will we if we are following Him closely.  

How did Jesus not let His enemies bother Him?  He certainly wasn't a sweeper!  When He spoke, it was with the perfect words, inflection, and meaning so that He could not be misunderstood except by those who refused to understand Him.  Some preferred their bulging rugs.  

At times, Jesus remained silent.  He did this at a time when most would be defending themselves vehemently.  Jesus of all people had the "right" to defend Himself because He was innocent, sinless - without fault.  But when He stood before Pilate, He remained silent.  He knew that His main purpose was to die for the sins of all mankind and that Pilate was simply a tool in His Father's hands to aid in the fulfillment of that purpose.  

“Don’t you hear all these charges they are bringing against you?” Pilate demanded. But Jesus made no response to any of the charges, much to the governor’s surprise." Matthew 27:13, 14

Jesus, being all-wise, knew when to speak and when to stay silent.  Oh how we need to learn how to do likewise!  

Lord Jesus, I pray for Your wisdom in each situation where issues need to be brought to the light.  I pray that You help me either speak words of wisdom (not my own, but Yours!), or remain silent - whatever is best in that moment.  Use me, Lord, to help others bring things to light and give me grace and patience with the sweepers!  In Jesus' Name.  Amen.