The art of listening

How many good listeners do you know?  I know very few.  I'm not sure why this is - why most of us are so much better at talking than listening.  

Everyone wants to be heard.  To be understood.

But when we're too busy talking or waiting to voice our opinion instead of truly listening to others, we lose out.  Everyone has something to teach us.  Everyone.  From the youngest child to the oldest senior.  

I think to listen well, you need to possess the following qualities:

1. Humility
2. Patience
3. Empathy
4. Teachable
5. Ability to focus/concentrate

If we do not naturally possess these qualities, we can learn them!  How?  Like anything else: practice.

We tend to respect some people's "voice" over others.  Usually, this is due to that person's reputation - they have been deemed an "expert" or they have many "followers."  

But people can build a reputation on sheer pride that has nothing to do with what they truly have to offer.

Some of the most humble people I know - those who may not have the respect of many - are the wisest.  They don't have to blow their own horn.

But we tend to listen to horn-blowers sometimes.  

If a person has strong self-esteem, is assertive, we perk up our ears.  But these kind of people are not necessarily the true wise ones of life.  I've lived long enough to know this to be true.

We must give people a chance.  Perhaps the person with less "bravura" has just as much, if not more, to give than the boastful one.

After all, people can be self-deceived.  Some people have built their lives on a persona that appears strong but they are actually emotional cowards because they won't let people see the real them.

It takes discernment and it takes being willing to go against the flow.  To be able to form your own opinion without the influence of the person himself or popular opinion.  

I also believe that listening involves more than hearing with our ears.  That is why I don't like talking on the phone.  Body language makes up most of our communication.  So how can we know what someone is really saying unless we see them?  Yes, tone of voice says a lot.  But someone can talk on the phone and be doing a million other things at the same time and, therefore, not really listening.  

Giving someone your undivided attention is work!  It takes effort if we're not used to doing it.  It is a muscle that needs exercise.  That may be why so many cannot do it, or will not do it.

If you don't know many good listeners, aim to become one yourself.  People need to be listened to!  Be the one they come to for this.

Lord Jesus, thank You that you fully listen to me.  Always.  Thank You that You understand me and listen with love and empathy.  Always.  I pray for more people like this in my life and also to be one of these people to others.  In Jesus' Name.  Amen.