Birthing and delivery

The Lord showed me a vision the other day.  I have been wondering what His vision for my life is and asked Him to show it to me, for a fresh outlook and purpose.

Now He did not give me the vision how I expected it - neither the contents or when He gave it to me.  He didn't show me right when I asked Him.  And it wasn't during my quiet time, either.

I was just going about my day like any other day when He showed me, out of the blue.

The Lord showed me, all of me, going through a birth canal toward a light. It looked sort of like a tunnel, but I knew in my spirit it was a birth canal.

That's it.

Now He has "birthed" things through me and for me in the past; not babies (I have no children), but projects, provisions, prophecies and such.

This new vision was different.  He was not birthing someone or someplace or somthing else.  He was birthing me.  I was the vision being birthed.

I had no idea what this meant until I recently read something in Beth Moore's book, "Get Out of that Pit."  She wrote about God as our Deliverer - that He is the only One who can pull us out of our pit, whatever that pit may be.  Yes, He can use people to help us along the way.  But only He can truly deliver us in the way that we need.

Is your pit depression?  Is it the behavior of someone you live with that drives you up a wall at least 10 times a day?  Or do you just feel stuck?

I feel as though my pit has many layers, but the main "hole" is the feeling that I am stuck.

It is a really sad place to be.  Then why would I stay in it, you may ask.

Because I have tried everything humanly possible to get unstuck but I still feel stuck.  

I usually think of God's deliverance like the exodus of the Jews, when He parted the Red Sea for them to escape Pharaoh's army.  And yes, that is one way that God delivers His people - by making a way where there is no way, humanly speaking.

Then as I was reading Beth's book, it dawned on me. "True delivery takes some time, some titanic effort, and more patience than the best of people possess," she writes.

When a woman goes into labor, there is a long stretch ahead of her full of pain, waiting, pushing, writhing, screaming, and so on (from what I hear).  So when God showed me that He is birthing me I realized that He is in the process of delivering me!  I am His baby!  He is the Master Obstetrician. He is delivering me into something new that only He can birth.

This is my interpretation of the vision that He gave me, anyway.

Now I feel like I've been through the mill already over and over again with God's deeper work in me.  It's neverending though, isn't it?  The perfecting, the pruning, the honing - all these happen and more when we truly let Him be the Gardener of our souls.

So frankly, I'm hoping this is the quickest birth and delivery in history!  Push me out already, Lord!  To where, only You know!  To be and do what, only You know!

He is pushing me through, birthing me into something new.  There is much light there!  I'm still not sure what it is, but I trust Him.  

The Scripture He gave me to get me through this process is from Song of Solomon: 2:11-12: "For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land." 

My "winter" has lasted much longer than I thought it would.  Not complaning, just saying.  So I receive this Scripture with great joy and anticipation!

Only God can birth something new in and through us.  Thankfully so!

Sweet Lord.  Thank You for the vision You gave me.  I trust You to fulfill it, to birth me in Your perfect time into the light that You showed me.  I trust You to lead the way and to know exactly what You are doing, Lord.  Thanks in advance for this birth!  I pray that it would bring You all the glory, Lord Jesus.  In Your Name I pray.  Amen.