This makes me feel closest to Jesus

Suffering.

That is the number one thing that makes me feel closest to Christ.

Surprised?  

We feel close to someone when we feel we can relate to him or her.  We understand someone better when we have experienced even a little of what he or she is going through.  We empathize with them.

Jesus was a man of sorrows.  He was despised and rejected.  He came as the Savior to His chosen people, the Jews, but they rejected Him.  That hurts.  Deeply.  He was a threat to the political "powers" of His day.  He was wrongly accused of evil doing by the Pharisees and eventually was crucified because the people could not bear His goodness, power, and truth.  They preferred darkness over light.

So when I have received but a taste of that same sort of rejection, I get a feel for what Jesus must have felt.  It's certainly no fun.  But it is precisely during those times that I feel a kinship with Him.  It is during those moments when His love, life, and light have more fullness in me.  

He is near to the brokenhearted.  He feels for the weak.   A broken reed He will not break.  His power is made perfect in weakness.

These are but a few of the Scriptures that highlight the truth of what I am saying.  But most Christians don't want to "go there" with Jesus.  Or when it happens, beyond their control and undeserved, they may turn away from Jesus, give up, or give in.  After all, who wants to suffer?

Our culture glorifies success - and this has trickled into the mindsets of many Christians, sadly.  They equate worldly success with God's blessings.  And He may choose to bless some that way.  But I wonder if they feel as close to Jesus in success as some of us do in our suffering.  Jesus was not a success in the world's eyes.

Each of Jesus' disciples suffered in one way or another for the sake of His gospel.  For His sake.  They counted their earthly life as not worth much compared to living for God.  Can we say the same?  Or are we clinging to the temporal?

It's not that we seek to suffer - that would be masochism.  No.  But when we follow Christ closely, suffering happens.  It can come in the form of rejection by family members, ostracization from social groups, evil plots against you, or jealousy from others when they want what you have but aren't willing to pay the price to get it.  People  crave intimacy with Jesus whether they know it or not because that is why we were created - for fellowship with God.

So when some see your unwavering faith in the midst of trials, instead of respecting you for it, they may resent you because it is missing in their lives.  Yet they refuse to surrender fully to Christ then wonder why they don't have that sincere connection to Him.  So they resent that you have it.  The religious leaders deeply resented Jesus.

These are all subtle and not-so-subtle treatments that we may endure that cause us to suffer - emotionally  and mentally.  Because their rejection or resentment of us makes no sense.  Yet it does.  Again, Jesus was rejected so if we are truly one with Him, we can expect the very same thing at times. 

If intimacy with Christ is your main purpose, then you will pay the price.  We know that He is worth it and that feeling that closeness with Him is worth all the suffering that we endure in this life.

Though it has been extremely painful at times, I wouldn’t trade all of the suffering I have endured by staying close to Christ for anything in the world. For those are the times when I feel closest to Him.

Dear Lord.  Walking the straight and narrow with You has cost me much.  Yet I know You in this way.  I experience rejection but I don't have to absorb it, but let it do its work of getting to know You better through it.  Help me always choose wisely, Lord, by choosing You over all else.  And when the consequences are more than I bargained for, thank You that it is precisely at those times when I feel closest to You because I relate to You in those moments.  Once the rejected and despised Man of sorrrows when You walked this earth, You are now ruling and reigning over all as King of kings!  Alleluia!  Thank You that one day I will know the same victory over death because You paved the way for me to join You in heaven through Your great sacrifice on the cross.  And there, all of the sorrow, rejection, and suffering will be long forgotten as I worship You forever in Your glorious Presence.  Amen!