How the false self works

Pleasing others will not make them truly love or even like you.  Pleasing others is a trap that you yourself fall into.  It only seems to work, but it never does.

The trap is the lack of freedom to be yourself no matter what.  Jesus was never a people pleaser - one of the many wonderful traits I love about Him.  

Some couldn't handle Jesus and His truth-telling.  Some people will not be able to handle you, either. They don't get you and they don't want to get you.  But that is no reason that you should try and please them.

God can handle you.

Thank God for God.

He comes alongside us and never leaves our side.

He accepts the real us even when others can't or won't.  And though we are to live our lives to please Him and Him only, we will fail Him.  But, unlike some people, Jesus continues to love and accept us.

There was nothing fake or false about Jesus.  I believe that is why He was such a threat to some.  They couldn't stand Him showing up their false selves - not that He was trying, but simply by being Himself, Jesus offended some.  Truth can be offensive!  And that is the only thing Jesus spoke - truth.

Those He offended were those putting up fronts, false selves.  He was messing with their mojo!

Result?  They wanted to kill Him!

People.  Oy.

But think about the people who wanted Jesus dead - would we really want to hang with those people or be accepted by them?  Hopefully, not.  You will never no never please some people.  And trust me, this is very good thing!

So why bother trying to please anyone at all, I say?

I am not suggesting a self--pleasing journey, either.  

Bottom line is, there is only one Person whom we should want to please:  Jesus.  

He is our Friend.  And He is also the ultimate Judge of our souls - so when you think about it, there really is no one else worth pleasing!

But is God impossible to please, you may ask?  Nope.  We all know that we will never reach perfection this side of heaven.

But God wants us to grow up already.

We please Him when we believe Him. (see Hebrews 11:6)

Our growth pleases Him.  Our maturity pleases Him.  Can you imagine a teenager still breastfeeding?!  I know it is a ridiculous analogy, but isn't that exactly how we can be when we don't let God grow us up?  And if we continue letting our false self rule, in the name of people-pleasing or for whatever reason, we never grow up.

Growing pains.  Why does growing up cost so much?

How God grows us up is entirely different from the world's ways.

Are we forgiving others freely and quickly?  Growing up.
Are we loving those who mistreat us?  Growing up.
Are we thinking kindly of others?  Growing up.
Are we treating others the same way we want to be treated?  Growing up.

This is the School of Life.  And we choose whether or not we want to stay stuck in "high school" or not by the choices we make in this School.

We stay stuck when we remain our false self.

What is the false self?

The false self wants to win at all costs.
The false self is selfish.
The false self is a gossip.
The false self looks out for number one only.
The false self is concerned with outer accumulation of stuff and looking good more than inner work.
The false self never makes waves.
The false self lives for this life only with no thought of eternity.

Jesus calls us to be our true selves, how He made us. And the only way this is possible is through a vital relationship with our Creator - Jesus!  He made us so He knows who we truly are.

So it's not so much about looking inward as it is looking upward to Him, this unveiling the true self!  The more we lose ourselves in Christ - His love, His ways, His truth, His Spirit - the more our true self we become!

C.S. Lewis said it best when he said:

“The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become – because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be… It is when I turn to Christ, when I give up myself to His personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”

C.S. Lewis was one of the most brilliant minds of all time.  In his intelligence, he realized that all of the brains, all of the degrees, accolades, etc., are not what made him him.  It was his relationship and surrender to His Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  

Same for us.

Whatever we believe "makes the man" (or woman), there is no other way to get to the real us apart from Christ.  We are found in Him. 

It's a paradox, I know.  You would think that giving yourself up, over, to anyone would diminish yourself, lessen yourself.  But since Jesus is God, when we surrender to Him, He imbues us with His power!

We can drop the false self with Jesus.  We no longer have to "play the game" with Jesus.  We have no one else to please but Him.

This kind of living takes guts!  We may not "win votes" this way, but who cares as long as we have the God of the universe on our side, for us, cheering us on?

Lord Jesus, thank You for always being You, being real, speaking truth.  Thank You for being the Truth.  As we peel away the layers of any false self that is still trying to have its way, please help us lean into You more fully, trust You, and become more like You and therefore our true self.  In Jesus' Name.  Amen.