Stop, Jesus! You're crushing me!

Have you ever been crushed by Jesus?  Job said, "Though He slay me, yet I will trust Him."

Been there, too, Job.  

But crushing feels worse than slaying.  What on earth am I talking about, you may wonder!  God is not a sadist!  Indeed not.

I don't know if you are this way, but a lot of the time, I need to talk to know what I'm thinking!  Sometimes, as I'm talking to a pastor, a friend, or whomever, words just come out of me that I had no intention of saying.  It's like the Holy Spirit is getting out of me what is really going on in me and I didn't have a chance to verbalize it before.

Writing is a great outlet for me.  But sometimes, it's speaking those unexpected words that sheds light on my circumstances.

For example, I was talking to a pastor about a certain situation I am in that is very hard to endure, and the word "crushed" popped out of my mouth.  I don't remember exactly what I said, but remember saying how I felt like I was being crushed, but it was for my good, and that the devil was pissed because I knew what was going on and I gave him no credit whatsoever!

When the you-know-what hits the proverbial fan in our lives, some tend to immediately blame it on the devil.  They see it as a spiritual attack when that is not at all what is happening.

When you realize, like Job, that the Lord Himself is the one doing the slaying or crushing, you still have a choice.  You still have free will.  You can choose to keep trusting God, as Job did, or curse God like Job's wife.  And even if it is the devil coming at you through events, as he did Job, the devil only did so with God's permission.  God is always in absolute control.  Always.  And when we belong to Him, and fiery darts still fly at us, God can and will use them for our good if we let Him.

Now I must admit, the crushing is very painful.  I tend to place blame on others, not God.  "If they would just stop acting that way, they wouldn't bring out the worst in me!"  

But then, I eventually get around to questioning God, I hate to admit.  My one-sided "conversation" goes something like this: 

Lord, You see everything!  You know what these people are doing to and around me!  You know that the results are not what You are after, nor what I want, for that matter.  So why do You continue to allow these traumatic events continue in my life?  Stop, Lord! Stop it already!  It's not working!  I am not producing good wine, or precious oil, or anything of any value - You know that!  If that's what You're after, it's not working!  You never should have chosen me!  I'm not worthy of You, Lord!  I am getting worse!  Something's gotta give!  A person can only take so much!

Oy.

And with all of my whining do you think the Lord caves?  Not one inch, God bless God.

What exactly is He getting at?  If only I knew, were aware, I could work on it some more.  Or could I?

The grape that is crushed to make wine doesn't do squat!  It simply lies there and is crushed.  It doesn't strive or "try" to become wine.  There is a process necessary to get to the good stuff.  If the grape is not crushed, it cannot move on to the next stage, and the next, until it becomes a very fine wine.

So what's a girl to do?  When we are in any kind of pain, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, or whatever, we are never at our best.  How do we suffer well and is that even possible?

Submit to God.

Lord, I submit to Your crushing.  Next time I open my mouth in bitter anger because of the pain, help me stop short, seek You, and ask You how You want me to respond.  And maybe, I'm hoping, if I do this, He will get what He is after in me.  I will still feel the sting of it, but I will not let it own or control me.  

Light bulb moment!  Could it be that He is getting at my lack of self-control?  Is that the fruit - which is part of the fruist of the Holy Spirit - He is trying to produce in me?  

After all, if any traumatic event has the power to "own" me, then I am playing the victim.  I am not glossing over legitimate, horrific happenings. 

But again, since God is Sovereign, when we belong to Him, all of it comes either from Him or is allowed by Him.  This is hard to swallow when you're in the thick of it.

Horrific things happened to Jesus throughout His earthly ministry, culminating in the most horrific act of all - His crucifixion.

Up until then, He had to put up with the vicious attacks from the religious leaders who wanted nothing more than to trap Him, shut Him up, and kill Him.  They tested Him constantly with their questions asked from wicked motives.  Jesus always knew exactly how to deal with them, but I'm sure it still must have hurt His feelings.  He came to do His Father's will and they were the proverbial fly in the ointment.

But!!  But Jesus never kowtowed to them or became bitter over their accusations and hatred.  What about us?  Gulp.  Do we try to "win over" our enemies?  Don't waste your time!  Everyone complains about how divisive our society has become, but could it be that it is all a set-up from God Himself?  After all, in the end He is the Great Separator, dividing the sheep from the goats.  Judgment Day is not all one, big, happy family and neither is life on earth. 

The Lord does not like strife, but He knows that in this fallen world there will be plenty of it.  

Jesus put up with the Pharisees and their tricks, plots, and hatred of Him.  There will always be their ilk among us.  In the end, they were simply pawns in God's plan anyway.  What looked like their triumph when Jesus hung on the cross was actually God's awesome and wonderful plan for mankind's salvation being carried out.

Could it be that the "Pharisees" in your life are accomplishing the same purpose?  We are to crucify our flesh.  Their actions toward us are an oppotrunity for us to die to self and let Christ live in us instead.

So when Jesus commands us to love our neighbor, does that include our haters? 

I'm pretty sure Jesus did not feel all warm and cuddly toward the Pharisees, and neither should we toward the antagonists in our lives. But neither did Jesus hate the Pharisees.  He did hate their hypocrisy and had some choice words for them at times, calling them a brood of vipers!

I guess it's a matter of fixing our face as flint, like Jesus did, and keeping our eyes on the prize - the upward call of God in Christ Jesus - and not letting the detractors destroy us, distract us, or stop us from that true calling we have in God.  Focus, child, focus!  

So remember the next time you feel crushed by circumstances, people, or whatever, that God Himself is in the wine business!  He is allowing the crushing for our good.  He is after making us into His fine wine that will nourish many others for His Kingdom.  Let Him!

Lord Jesus.  Life is hard.  But it is doubly hard when we follow You, for this world hates us when we do so. It is triply hard when those who are "supposed" to be in the same camp with us come against us - those who call themselves by Your Name but are really a brood of vipers! Help us discern the difference and stay on track no matter who or what comes after us, Lord Jesus.  Help us to not focus on how our haters treat us but instead on how much You love us!  For You have called us to be Your own and to build Your Kingdom until You return for us.  Help us to sustain Your crushing and may it eventually produce Your desired results.  Forgive us for whining and complaining, Lord, and instead transform us whiners into fine wine!  In Jesus' Name.  Amen.