Delighting in God

Feeding your heart and mind with God's truths is the best way I know to delight in Him.

Lately, I have been wrestling with anxiety over certain issues surrounding my life.  Although my morning routine of spending at least an hour with the Lord in my quiet time has not changed, it's not long after my hour of bliss that worries, fears, and anxiety start to chase me down.

I prayed and asked the Lord what I should read or listen to.  That's when I happened upon a Charles Spurgeon teaching on YouTube.

I am a big Spurgeon lover and knew that he would give it to me straight.  And it was just what Dr. Jesus ordered!

As I was listening to Charles Spurgeon's sermon, read by a very calming voice with a British accent, I began to feel God's Presence and peace in me.  I was letting go.  I was being enveloped by the Holy Spirit.

This was not some super spiritual phenomena, but I believe that this is how the Christian life is to always be lived, ideally!  I want to live in this place always.

But it wasn't more than a half hour or so later when my husband did or said something that got my goat!  How could I leave my "happy place" so readily?  Then I got down on myself because I blew it by not staying in that beautiful Christ peace.

Then I realized something.  I had trained myself over the years to give in to my unruly emotions.  Instead of controlling them, via the Holy Spirit fruit of self-control, I let irritability reign in me.  Now I didn't set out to "train" myself in bad habits!  But isn't that what we do when we give in to whatever the emotion or action is over and over again?  We are programming our souls to respond or react that way in the future.

The Lord went through far too much for us to live this way.  He has provided all we need for life and godliness - His Word promises us this.  So why can't we get a grip already?!

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness." (2 Peter 1:3; NIV)

I know I am not alone in this struggle, because I know other godly, spiritual women who love the Lord, too, but still struggle with bad emotional habits and reactions.

So what's a girl to do?

Keep going back to the cross.  Keep going back to Jesus.  Keep confessing and repenting. Keep finding my way back into His glorious peace.

I wish it weren't so up and down, back and forth, but since we're stuck in this flesh until the Lord takes us or comes back for us, we may be fighting this battle until we are in His Presence for good.  

It's not that I want to be perfect (ok, I really do.  Ugh.), it's that I want to be living proof of God's great grace and peace.  His power and Presence are for real!  When I goof up, more often than I'd like, I feel like I show a bad witness to the truth of Christ in my life.  

But I shouldn't want to be perfect for Christ's reputation - He already knows I'm going to blow it, the exact dates and times! - but I should want to stay in Christ's peace because it is the most beautiful place to live.

It would be like living in a palace and then choosing, for a brief moment, to live in squalor.  Why would anyone want to do that?!

It may be a crude analogy, but hopefully, it helps to show what I am talking about.  

I heard one preacher once talk about the verse abiding in Jesus as the translation meaning "mansioning" with Jesus.  I don't know how accurate his Greek was, but it did provide a great visual of what happens when we abide in Christ and let Him abide in us.  The vast, open, flowing feeling that we get when we feel the peace of Christ is like living in a mansion!  But oh so much better because no moth or rust can ruin it, no thief can break in and steal it from us - it is everlasting; no thief, that is, except for our own bad habits.

My husband, or anyone else for that matter, is never to blame for me losing my cool.  That is entirely my choice, though it feels as if I have no choice in the moment!

To delight in God is to know His beautiful peace in our hearts, to feel His closeness, to truly abide (stay) in Him.  It's not that I need to stay on a spiritual mountaintop 24/7, but I would like to know His peace more consistently.  What a privilege and gift that we can know it at all!

Oh Lord. When You fill and surround me with Your peace, I want to stay there.  So when I let another's behavior get to me,  I am without excuse.  For You dealt with much worse, Lord, from those who were always looking for ways to trap You and even kill You.  You never once lost Your beautiful connection to Your Heavenly Father as You chose to abide in Him.  Yes, You had free will, too, Lord, and You always chose rightly.  Please help me choose to delight in You more than any other "place" to live more and more frequently, Lord Jesus.  In Your wonderful Name I pray.  Amen.