The #1 thing that changes people

Perhaps you think I am going to say that the #1 thing that changes people is God.  And that is true.  Only God can change a human heart.

However, there is something that we can do to help others along the way, and it is this:

Accept them as they are.

It is that simple.

People can sense when we are judging them.  No matter what we say on the outside, our thoughts and demeanor carry an intangible weight.

Are we placing ourselves in God's position by acting as judge and jury?  "I would never do that," you may claim.  

Yet we do it all the time when we make judgments about others.  Is it possible to see only the good, and is that what God requires of us?

Well, let's go to the Source and see what He has to say about the matter.  As always, He is very straightforward about it, if only we would listen and obey!

“Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2 For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye."  Matthew 7:1-5

Oh how I love Jesus for speaking truth to us, for showing us the way to live, for setting us free through His directives and words.

"But how do I not judge?" you may ask.

I believe if you accept people as they are, where they are in life, then you will not judge them.  

How do we do that?  God's grace.  If it does not come naturally to us, if we are in the habit of being too hard on ourselves and it spills over to how we treat others, then we need help.

Enter God.

He is there with accepting eyes, heart, and all the wisdom and understanding into you more than any person ever will have.  We need to really experience and know God's acceptance of us. Then, we can pass it on to others.

With God's help, grace, and power in us, via His Holy Spirit, we are able to see others in a new light.  We are empowered by the Holy Spirit to love others.  And love covers over a multitude of sins.

And isn't that what we are judging when we judge others?  Their sin?  

Who are we to judge when we have our own "log in our eye," as Jesus tells us?

So no, we do not have the power to change others, only to change ourselves in the end.

But we can aid in their growth by accepting them, not judging them, right where they are.  Are they in sin?  Love them anyway.  Have they done you wrong?  Love them anyway.  Do you know all that they have been through in their life to make them that way?  No, you don't.  And even if you did, it may or may not help you love them.

Ask God to reveal the log in your own eye first.  He will.

Then, once you realize that it is your pride that judges others, confess it to God.  Then receive God's mercy over your own faults and sins, and  you will be better able to see the other's sins and faults through His lens.  

Jesus is fully capable of loving others through us when we are not able.

In this day and age with our penchant for getting offended over every little thing, may we be different.  May we be the ones to forgive, to let go of an offense, to rise above the petty, to truly honor Christ by how we treat others.

This is not only a tall order, it can seem impossible.  However loving we may be, we none of us love others the way Jesus loves us.  And this is His mandate to us as Christians.  Jesus is not fooling around with us!  

Just as the Ten Commandments were "it" when God gave them to Moses for His people, Jesus has now given us a new commandment.  It is just as powerful and worthy of our attention.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  John 13:34-35

God is not suggesting that we love others.  He is commanding it!

Part of loving others as Christ loves us is to accept them as they are, where they are, no matter what.

If we fear being taken advantage of or hurt, we are missing the point.  

People will respond to love.  If love never fails, as Paul promises us in I Corinthians 13, then it never fails.  

Can you love another's faults?  Can you love their mistakes, upsets, and sins?  We can also fear that accepting someone's sin is condoning it.

The Jesus who loves us is the same Jesus who tells us, "Sin no more."  So He cares deeply about sin.  He is against sin because He knows that it ruins, sullies, and hurts us.  

We can treat others well who are harsh and judgmental toward us.  We can return love for hate.  We can love others who have rejected us.  Jesus did it all the time, and still does.

So go on and practice accepting those people whom you are prone to judge instead of love.  Just accept them.  You will be set free.  You will see the log in your own eye (a log is way bigger than a speck!).  You can and will love them.  And then sometimes, through your acceptance, they are transformed.

Oh Lord.  We are all living with a bit of PTSD these days, coming out of the pandemic.  Whether or not we were personally affected by it, it left a mark on us.  The fear, the upset, the strangeness and tragedy of it all has taken its toll on us.  It has perhaps left us more guarded, less trusting, and therefore less loving.  We can all talk about how much the pandemic highlighted the fact that we all need each other.  But if we're honest, it has also left behind in its wake a cosmic sense of loss, misunderstanding, and a waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop.  We must be strong in love in order to face all of this going forward.  We need to learn to let You live through us more and more so that we can be the lights that You have called us to be in this dark world.  Help us, O Lord.  In Jesus' Name.  Amen.